Day 2 – 1/1/16
Well, the timer is on…
I went a little past 1/1 today to finish this because I had a bit of a weird/good day, however, it into my “practice” today. I finished, but I feel a bit guilty that on the second day of the practice I already broke the “ground rules”.
Anyway, I thought I might elaborate on a part of the “practice” today that touched me a little bit as I enter into this new year.
It is the Kneeling Yoga Mudra, which happens after the rest poses, but before the final meditation. There are some cards I have on some of the positions that have little sayings on them and I decided to take these first days a bit slower so I can really focus on the chakra colors, positions, and the benefits of each pose. However, the practice was done and I was tired, but fulfilled, and I turned the Kneeling Yoga Mudra over and the saying for it was: “My head surrenders to my heart.” That hit me today as being somewhat profound. I suppose it is a cliché that in order to love you can’t over thing it, but it never ceases to hit home in this big head of mine. I need to give over my big head, stubborn head, over-stimulated head to the quietude of love… This is not an easy task for me or anyone, I think, because I assume I’m not special and that others must experience the same anxieties and hardships that won’t allow one to just…love… I am (also) enough of a cynic that I can’t even believe I’m doing this practice for the next 38 days because talking about love kind of makes me nauseous. I think of it as some sort of secret that will lose its “special-ness” if you talk about it. AND…if you are stupid enough to talk about it, you will lose it/lose the one you love. I always think that is the mistake that movie stars make when they get on those TV interviews or do an exposé in a trash magazine. Not long after some proclamation of “love,” the famous couple breaks up. It is as if the moment the head came into the heart, the heart was no longer present. So, I hope I am not becoming my own cautionary tale by pursuing this silly task.
To redirect, I want this “task,” this “practice” to become a “ritual”. A long-lost ritual that is pluralistic in nature (as stated yesterday) for marriage. I sometimes get on my Becker-ish high horse and think that the world of the United States would be a lot less lost, if it just had some of its own rituals. However, that’s impossible because the culture is by its design multicultural and no one ritual will ever suffice. But, it begs the question, of what would that ritual be, if there was one? So, my “task”, my “practice” is less a journey for me to wax poetical on my “heart”, my “love”, the one I will “marry”, but more of a journey to find what should be in me to become two, instead of one. I have been an independent woman with no need of that paper for 37+ years, but something changed in my last year that wanted to let the other person know that I loved them enough to want that in writing and in perpetuity…that our names would be tied in someone’s ephemeral documents. That meant something to me, and, hopefully, it means something to him…But how do you stay being independent, but allow for your plural nature to accept a partnership? And, in this day and age, what is a “partnership”? What does that mean, and why do we need the ceremony, if we don’t have a ritual to prepare us for the ceremony? That’s the practice and journey…so…We. Shall. See…
Day 3 – 1/2/16
Timer on…
To make up for yesterday’s mistake I did the practice right when I woke up this morning. Well, not right after, I guess I walked the dogs, shoveled snow, cleaned a bit, and then I did the “practice”/the “task”.
I’m feeling pretty good about his sequence. I remember the “69 Days of Mourning” sequence being really hard. There are a couple of difficult sections in this sequence, but nothing like the Flying Cow section of the Mourning Sequence. It’s interesting because there are definitely some parallelisms with these sequences. Instead of a Flying Cow/Dynamic Cat sequence there is the static cat sequence, and that is much more palatable. However, I find that (maybe) in the future I will know that one way to quickly warm-up all of the emotions locked up in one’s solar plexus, all I have to do is repeat a Flying Cow for 69 Kalabhati breaths…on each side! Ugh! But…informative.
It does beg the question of what these two sequences look back-to-back in true comparison because, obviously, the Mourning Sequence is to help deal with the loss of a monumental love, and the Love/Acceptance Sequence is being treated by myself as a bridge from that experience to the acceptance of a monumental love for the rest of my living being and possibly beyond, depending on one’s belief’s. So….they are both about “love”; just different points-of-view on a theme.
I guess I should discuss another part of the sequence that “struck me” today. This is Eka Pada Rajakapotasana – “The Pigeon”. I have struggled in the full position of this pose since the very beginnings of my practice in yoga, which is approaching 19 years this year, I think… I have always liked the position with the leg in an (almost) half splits position with the torso puffed up like the bird, and I have also liked it with the torso elongated on the ground, but…the full position…oh…the full position. The pose has your torso puffed up and then one arm grabbing the elongated leg and pulling it towards the body. I am unable to keep both hips on the ground in the full position, and I have often seen it as my goal to get to a point where I find this position as “enjoyable” as the other 2 variations, but 19 years in, and I’m not sure if that will be possible. So, maybe, with 38 days of repeating this action, I might succeed in this seeming unattainable goal - much like my unattainable goal of completing a Sunday New York Times crossword. Yeah, I’ll probably turn into a white light and disappear.
Anyway, this pose…has the little note on the card of: “I take pride in my accomplishments, both small and great.” So…I should try to start seeing the small goals of my hips attempting the task of making their way towards the Earth. The benefits of the pose, apparently, are only two: Opening the hip area and chest and aligning the pelvis. Many of the poses have a benefit of opening or warming up the pelvis. I wonder whether the Love Theme is reminding one that connections of the heart also need to be connections to the body.
Well, the timer says I have to stop…another free writing day of yoga, love, and acceptance…more tomorrow…
Well, the timer is on…
I went a little past 1/1 today to finish this because I had a bit of a weird/good day, however, it into my “practice” today. I finished, but I feel a bit guilty that on the second day of the practice I already broke the “ground rules”.
Anyway, I thought I might elaborate on a part of the “practice” today that touched me a little bit as I enter into this new year.
It is the Kneeling Yoga Mudra, which happens after the rest poses, but before the final meditation. There are some cards I have on some of the positions that have little sayings on them and I decided to take these first days a bit slower so I can really focus on the chakra colors, positions, and the benefits of each pose. However, the practice was done and I was tired, but fulfilled, and I turned the Kneeling Yoga Mudra over and the saying for it was: “My head surrenders to my heart.” That hit me today as being somewhat profound. I suppose it is a cliché that in order to love you can’t over thing it, but it never ceases to hit home in this big head of mine. I need to give over my big head, stubborn head, over-stimulated head to the quietude of love… This is not an easy task for me or anyone, I think, because I assume I’m not special and that others must experience the same anxieties and hardships that won’t allow one to just…love… I am (also) enough of a cynic that I can’t even believe I’m doing this practice for the next 38 days because talking about love kind of makes me nauseous. I think of it as some sort of secret that will lose its “special-ness” if you talk about it. AND…if you are stupid enough to talk about it, you will lose it/lose the one you love. I always think that is the mistake that movie stars make when they get on those TV interviews or do an exposé in a trash magazine. Not long after some proclamation of “love,” the famous couple breaks up. It is as if the moment the head came into the heart, the heart was no longer present. So, I hope I am not becoming my own cautionary tale by pursuing this silly task.
To redirect, I want this “task,” this “practice” to become a “ritual”. A long-lost ritual that is pluralistic in nature (as stated yesterday) for marriage. I sometimes get on my Becker-ish high horse and think that the world of the United States would be a lot less lost, if it just had some of its own rituals. However, that’s impossible because the culture is by its design multicultural and no one ritual will ever suffice. But, it begs the question, of what would that ritual be, if there was one? So, my “task”, my “practice” is less a journey for me to wax poetical on my “heart”, my “love”, the one I will “marry”, but more of a journey to find what should be in me to become two, instead of one. I have been an independent woman with no need of that paper for 37+ years, but something changed in my last year that wanted to let the other person know that I loved them enough to want that in writing and in perpetuity…that our names would be tied in someone’s ephemeral documents. That meant something to me, and, hopefully, it means something to him…But how do you stay being independent, but allow for your plural nature to accept a partnership? And, in this day and age, what is a “partnership”? What does that mean, and why do we need the ceremony, if we don’t have a ritual to prepare us for the ceremony? That’s the practice and journey…so…We. Shall. See…
Day 3 – 1/2/16
Timer on…
To make up for yesterday’s mistake I did the practice right when I woke up this morning. Well, not right after, I guess I walked the dogs, shoveled snow, cleaned a bit, and then I did the “practice”/the “task”.
I’m feeling pretty good about his sequence. I remember the “69 Days of Mourning” sequence being really hard. There are a couple of difficult sections in this sequence, but nothing like the Flying Cow section of the Mourning Sequence. It’s interesting because there are definitely some parallelisms with these sequences. Instead of a Flying Cow/Dynamic Cat sequence there is the static cat sequence, and that is much more palatable. However, I find that (maybe) in the future I will know that one way to quickly warm-up all of the emotions locked up in one’s solar plexus, all I have to do is repeat a Flying Cow for 69 Kalabhati breaths…on each side! Ugh! But…informative.
It does beg the question of what these two sequences look back-to-back in true comparison because, obviously, the Mourning Sequence is to help deal with the loss of a monumental love, and the Love/Acceptance Sequence is being treated by myself as a bridge from that experience to the acceptance of a monumental love for the rest of my living being and possibly beyond, depending on one’s belief’s. So….they are both about “love”; just different points-of-view on a theme.
I guess I should discuss another part of the sequence that “struck me” today. This is Eka Pada Rajakapotasana – “The Pigeon”. I have struggled in the full position of this pose since the very beginnings of my practice in yoga, which is approaching 19 years this year, I think… I have always liked the position with the leg in an (almost) half splits position with the torso puffed up like the bird, and I have also liked it with the torso elongated on the ground, but…the full position…oh…the full position. The pose has your torso puffed up and then one arm grabbing the elongated leg and pulling it towards the body. I am unable to keep both hips on the ground in the full position, and I have often seen it as my goal to get to a point where I find this position as “enjoyable” as the other 2 variations, but 19 years in, and I’m not sure if that will be possible. So, maybe, with 38 days of repeating this action, I might succeed in this seeming unattainable goal - much like my unattainable goal of completing a Sunday New York Times crossword. Yeah, I’ll probably turn into a white light and disappear.
Anyway, this pose…has the little note on the card of: “I take pride in my accomplishments, both small and great.” So…I should try to start seeing the small goals of my hips attempting the task of making their way towards the Earth. The benefits of the pose, apparently, are only two: Opening the hip area and chest and aligning the pelvis. Many of the poses have a benefit of opening or warming up the pelvis. I wonder whether the Love Theme is reminding one that connections of the heart also need to be connections to the body.
Well, the timer says I have to stop…another free writing day of yoga, love, and acceptance…more tomorrow…