Day 67
Timer on…
Well, I went to the Bronx Botanical Gardens today, saw the orchid display (which was a feast for the eyes in colors and sizes), and I had cake and a Coors in honor of my father. (Sidebar: I think it was very odd that I was able to have a beer, let alone the beer that my Dad liked at the Botanical Gardens…). It was amazing being able to see Pocky today. We talked and walked and walked and talked and talked and walked and walked and talked...
It was also odd see the Gardens in the winter…the trees seemed so raped of all their life, their was no Daffodil to greet me (my Dad’s birth flower that has a walk near the entrance I park near), and the walkways were full of snow but sans people. In September, there was a Daffodil last time I went on my Dad’s Death Day in September…it made me cry to see it all alone on the walk with no friends because it bloomed out of season, but…I loved to see it…it was like he was waiting for me on that walk…I went there today, but…of course…there was just snow…
Pocky and I also bought books on trees and shrubs…next time I can go I will ID many of the trees with it (something my Dad and I did the time we went together…). My favorite part of the day was when I bought a cake and a beer at the café and then the geese suddenly appeared and walked down the hill towards where Pocky and I were sitting, and then promptly walked back up the hill. My Dad loved going and seeing the ducks in Albuquerque, and that was what I normally did to honor him on his birthday…I would go watch the ducks at the Rio Grande Nature Center. Obviously, I couldn’t do that this year, but…the geese came to me instead. One time, when I lived in Walla Walla, some ducks came to visit and walk by the café by Whitman College, and my Dad thought it was the funniest thing to see all these ducks walk from the College to the café and then go back…
I did the series when I got home, and it was nice enough…I am realizing that the journey is ending and that not much has changed, but…I have liked reflecting on my Dad for this many days in a row. If nothing, I liked learning more about yoga and how to heal one’s sell through the body, but…I think I will always mourn him, and I think the ritual just made me realize that it is okay to mourn him…I just have to find a time and a place to love and reflect on him to help me through the times that hurt the most. However, I can’t do anything about the fact that lottery tickets still undo me.
2 more days…
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