Day 58
Timer on…
I was supposed to do this last night, but my pellet stove broke (again), so…it was beyond cold in the house. I hadn’t left any of the space heaters on because I thought the pellet stove was fine…but…it wasn’t…so…I cut my losses, put the space heaters on…armed myself in a hoodie, added another quilt to the bed, put the warm socks that Alicia (our division secretary) gave me for Christmas on, and bundled up waiting for warmth…it arrived, but…by then I was sleepy, so…I slept…
This morning I did the series, and I (hope) will do it two more times to catch up to the days I have missed…I’m technically starting the 10 Day countdown today.
I thought about my student Mei-Lin, who gave me peace flags as a present when my friend Robin died. This student had only known me for about a week, and she gave me what she called a “mourning” basket. It was filled with chocolate, coffee, cookies, and the peace flags decorated the handle of the basket. I have since wrapped these peace flags around a photo of my dad and I, which I have also placed a photo of Robin and I. Ultimately, I am looking for peace in this series. Peace from the pang of mourning, peace from guilt, peace from not feeling I have the right to suffer the death because they would want me to live, peace from the loss of ambition, peace from not feeling I’m as pretty as I was at the fighting weight I was before I gained my 20 lbs. of flesh after my Dad’s death…simply put…I’m looking for peace.
According to Wikipedia (stop judging…it’s the first thing that pops up…and I’m pretty sure it’s as accurate as anything else I would find that might be more eloquent and accurate…): “A prayer flag is a colorful rectangular cloth, often found strung along mountain ridges and peaks high in the Himalayas. They are used to bless the surrounding countryside and for other purposes. Prayer flags are believed to have originated with Bon, which predated Buddhism in Tibet. In Bon, colored plain flags in healing ceremonies in Nepal. They are unknow in other branches of Buddhism. Traditional prayer flags include woodblock-printed text and images.”
It’s History: “In Indian Sutras, originally written on cloth banners, were transmitted to other regions of the world as prayer flags. Legend ascribes the origin of the prayer flag to the Shakyamuni Buddha, whose prayers were written on battle flags used by the devas against their adversaries, the asuras. The legend may have given the Indian bhikku a reason for carrying the heavenly banner as a way of signifying his commitment to ahimsa. This knowledge was carried into Tibet by 800 C.E., and the actual flags were introduced no later than 1040 C.E., where they were further modified. The Indian monk Atisha (980-1054 C.E.) introduced the Inidan practice of printing on cloth prayer flags to Tibet and Nepal.”
I have to stop here because I’m at 15 minutes…but…I’ll continue this story later today…
Timer on…
I was supposed to do this last night, but my pellet stove broke (again), so…it was beyond cold in the house. I hadn’t left any of the space heaters on because I thought the pellet stove was fine…but…it wasn’t…so…I cut my losses, put the space heaters on…armed myself in a hoodie, added another quilt to the bed, put the warm socks that Alicia (our division secretary) gave me for Christmas on, and bundled up waiting for warmth…it arrived, but…by then I was sleepy, so…I slept…
This morning I did the series, and I (hope) will do it two more times to catch up to the days I have missed…I’m technically starting the 10 Day countdown today.
I thought about my student Mei-Lin, who gave me peace flags as a present when my friend Robin died. This student had only known me for about a week, and she gave me what she called a “mourning” basket. It was filled with chocolate, coffee, cookies, and the peace flags decorated the handle of the basket. I have since wrapped these peace flags around a photo of my dad and I, which I have also placed a photo of Robin and I. Ultimately, I am looking for peace in this series. Peace from the pang of mourning, peace from guilt, peace from not feeling I have the right to suffer the death because they would want me to live, peace from the loss of ambition, peace from not feeling I’m as pretty as I was at the fighting weight I was before I gained my 20 lbs. of flesh after my Dad’s death…simply put…I’m looking for peace.
According to Wikipedia (stop judging…it’s the first thing that pops up…and I’m pretty sure it’s as accurate as anything else I would find that might be more eloquent and accurate…): “A prayer flag is a colorful rectangular cloth, often found strung along mountain ridges and peaks high in the Himalayas. They are used to bless the surrounding countryside and for other purposes. Prayer flags are believed to have originated with Bon, which predated Buddhism in Tibet. In Bon, colored plain flags in healing ceremonies in Nepal. They are unknow in other branches of Buddhism. Traditional prayer flags include woodblock-printed text and images.”
It’s History: “In Indian Sutras, originally written on cloth banners, were transmitted to other regions of the world as prayer flags. Legend ascribes the origin of the prayer flag to the Shakyamuni Buddha, whose prayers were written on battle flags used by the devas against their adversaries, the asuras. The legend may have given the Indian bhikku a reason for carrying the heavenly banner as a way of signifying his commitment to ahimsa. This knowledge was carried into Tibet by 800 C.E., and the actual flags were introduced no later than 1040 C.E., where they were further modified. The Indian monk Atisha (980-1054 C.E.) introduced the Inidan practice of printing on cloth prayer flags to Tibet and Nepal.”
I have to stop here because I’m at 15 minutes…but…I’ll continue this story later today…
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