Day 46
Timer on…
Valentine’s Day...that’s what today is… One of the last gifts my Dad ever gave me was Valentine’s Day 2011. I was 32 going on 33 and he gave me a little stuffed puppy Rottweiler. He even climbed the puppy up my arm and had it lick my face.
When he died, I made no logical decisions about packing my bags to go up to Idaho from Walla Walla; I just walked around the house and grabbed things that reminded me of him: my Valentine’s Rottweiler and my Panda, “Pants”, that he bought for me when I was in 4th grade and he had lost his Union Pacific Railroad job, due to Reagan de-regulating the railroads, and we were really poor…
My siblings and I were warned that Christmas that we probably wouldn’t be getting much for Christmas, but I had my eye on this Panda in Ron’s Grocery store. My sister, Christin, also had her eye on a bear there, but I was sure that we weren’t going to get them because they were bigger than any bear that we had ever gotten before and I thought that their $20 price tag in 1987 was very expensive…at least that’s what my mom said. Anyway…those bears arrived from Santa that year…and Christin and I really loved those bears. I grabbed that Panda. I grabbed that Rottweiler, and later that night I was sitting in a dingy bar (my brother’s dive bar) holding those two stuffed animals…I must have looked ridiculous. I slept with those two next to me for next 6 months. But…I took the Rottweiler to my sister’s baby shower/birthday party, and gave her the Rottweiler to give to my first niece; it killed me that my Dad was never going to spoil her, the way that he spoiled his “girls”. He would have loved being a Grandpa. He would love my two nieces and my nephew…he never got sick of giving stuffed animals and candy at every holiday… He even liked our birthday cakes more than we did…
Speaking of cakes, my Dad loved to get a big cake for the Summer Musical I did in Walla Walla, WA, and he was notorious for taking most of it home with him, and freezing it, and de-frosting a couple every week to eat because he was allowed cake “once in a while”. I found those two cakes waiting in the bottom of the drawer of the refrigerator when I was cleaning the house for the wake, and I lost it…his sweet things…he wasn’t allowed to eat…except “once in a while” were not eaten. It killed me. I still don’t really like cake, but I try it sometimes to see if I do…just so I can taste something sweet, like he used to give me…
Timer on…
Valentine’s Day...that’s what today is… One of the last gifts my Dad ever gave me was Valentine’s Day 2011. I was 32 going on 33 and he gave me a little stuffed puppy Rottweiler. He even climbed the puppy up my arm and had it lick my face.
When he died, I made no logical decisions about packing my bags to go up to Idaho from Walla Walla; I just walked around the house and grabbed things that reminded me of him: my Valentine’s Rottweiler and my Panda, “Pants”, that he bought for me when I was in 4th grade and he had lost his Union Pacific Railroad job, due to Reagan de-regulating the railroads, and we were really poor…
My siblings and I were warned that Christmas that we probably wouldn’t be getting much for Christmas, but I had my eye on this Panda in Ron’s Grocery store. My sister, Christin, also had her eye on a bear there, but I was sure that we weren’t going to get them because they were bigger than any bear that we had ever gotten before and I thought that their $20 price tag in 1987 was very expensive…at least that’s what my mom said. Anyway…those bears arrived from Santa that year…and Christin and I really loved those bears. I grabbed that Panda. I grabbed that Rottweiler, and later that night I was sitting in a dingy bar (my brother’s dive bar) holding those two stuffed animals…I must have looked ridiculous. I slept with those two next to me for next 6 months. But…I took the Rottweiler to my sister’s baby shower/birthday party, and gave her the Rottweiler to give to my first niece; it killed me that my Dad was never going to spoil her, the way that he spoiled his “girls”. He would have loved being a Grandpa. He would love my two nieces and my nephew…he never got sick of giving stuffed animals and candy at every holiday… He even liked our birthday cakes more than we did…
Speaking of cakes, my Dad loved to get a big cake for the Summer Musical I did in Walla Walla, WA, and he was notorious for taking most of it home with him, and freezing it, and de-frosting a couple every week to eat because he was allowed cake “once in a while”. I found those two cakes waiting in the bottom of the drawer of the refrigerator when I was cleaning the house for the wake, and I lost it…his sweet things…he wasn’t allowed to eat…except “once in a while” were not eaten. It killed me. I still don’t really like cake, but I try it sometimes to see if I do…just so I can taste something sweet, like he used to give me…
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