Day 3
Timer is on…Naomi Iizuka would be so proud of me…she used to tell her playwrighting students to do this exercise daily…just a turning on of a timer and writing for 10-15 minutes, as a discipline, with no judgments…
Anyway…
I suppose that it is time to give context to the reason it is taking me so long to mourn…it’s been 3 years, 3 months, and 11 days…you would think that I would let this go, but…as I began the practice today, I realized with the first position…the “Why?”
I should, maybe, pursue this day 3 blog of my 69 Journey with an acting exercise inspired by Stanislavski…”The Given Circumstances” and as that is my chosen path in life (theater) it makes sense that I give context in this way.
Who: Ronald James Barkl, born March 7, 1942, died September 21, 2011 – age 69…(hence the number…). Great father, superb mechanic, hard worker, the heart of a farmer, a dreamer, a buyer of lottery tickets (to fulfill his dreams), a Chevy lover, an animal lover, a lifelong Yankees fan, and an inspiring human being.
What: 69 Days of doing yoga poses I’ve practiced for the past three years after googling what yoga poses would help with mourning, and drop the 20 lbs. of flesh I gained after his death…that doesn’t seem to want to let go…and my theory is that it is emotional weight.
Where: My little 400 sq. foot cottage in Jeffersonville, NY, 7 minutes from the site of “The Summer of ‘69”, on a yoga mat that is on the rug I used in my production of PIPPIN inspired by Peter Brook’s idea that all a performer needs is an Empty Space…and he took rugs with him around the world…I’ve always liked that image, so…I bought the rug for the performance, knowing that it would also live in my house to remind me that all I really need is an empty space to work, play, and love.
When: Well, for now, after breakfast and after I walk the dogs. It is also after I prepare the ritual, which involves French braiding my hair (which I suck at, by the way, maybe the practice of doing it everyday will improve my technique); cleaning the floor (which I now realize that the ritual of doing this in Japan has a practical basis because I noticed that the dirty floor distracts me…cleaning it before hand takes that distraction away…I’m not just preparing the space for performance, I’m preparing it to get out of the way of my ability to focus); I put on a candle to make it smell nicer…it’s winter here and the mold smell coming from the garage below me usually doesn’t bother me, but during this practice, it does; my boyfriend's “Everyone I Love Is Here” playlist is put on shuffle (more on that soon), and tea made for breaks (if I need one).
Why: The first pose in the revised series of poses that should help with mourning is Virasana – Hero’s Pose…and anyone who knows me, knows that my dad is my hero. His death was my worst fear, and when it happened an expected existential break occurred. I had always feared it, but I never anticipated it so soon…therefore…I was not prepared for the transition after…This 69 Days Journey with these yoga poses is an attempt to find a transition to find the person I was before his death, and bring with me the new found knowledge of the person who I became after his death. The person before made art and tried to please one person: Dad…the person after had no one to fill that void, and, thus, an emptiness filled her entire being…an emptiness that seemed bottomless…this emptiness is a humbling that I needed, and I will carry with me...a moment of grace that I will forever honor, but...I can't continue life in a "moment of grace"; it's just too hard to maintain that level of reflection and drama.
How: Now, here’s the enigma, the sphinx, the phoenix…I don’t know how to make the mourning go away…am I just going to be Sonny Goodman (the famous jazz musician) who will always cry when speaking of my Dad…and is that okay…? It probably is, but it is wearing on my soul, my artwork, my relationships, and, I think, my health…so I need to find something to fill the emptiness, or, at least, a ritual to get out of it (once in a while)…a transition, as it were…
So…the sequence remained the same today, but I added a 6 sun salutations as a warm-up because it seemed difficult to just jump into Virasana straight from waking…I also added rest poses in the hopes that I could finish each 69 Kapalabhati breaths with each pose. These included Apanasana (Wind-relieving pose), Supta Vajrasana (Child’s) and Tadasana (Mountain – and, as a side note, I liked having this in the series because I’m a child of the mountains and have always loved the metaphor of the mountain, so…it’s nice to rest in it…).
Part 1 – Standing or lying
Neutral – Chakra 2 – Svadhisthana (Navel Chakra or Hara) – Orange
· Hero’s Pose – Virasana
· Butterfly – Baddha Konasana
Forward Bend – Chakra 5 – Visuddha (Throat Chakra) – Sky Blue
· Child’s Pose – Supta Vajrasana (or Balasana…more on this another time…)
Back Bend– Chakra 3 – Manipura – Solar plexus - yellow
· Flying Cow – Januhastasana/Bidalasana/Gavasana
· Camel – Ustrasana
· Sphinx – Salamba Bhujangasana
· Cobra – Bhujangasana
· Upward Facing Dog – Urdhva Mukha Svanasana
· Bow – Dhanurasana
· Supported Fish – Samarthita Matsyasana
Twist – Chakra 4 – Anahata – Heart Chakra - Green
· Spinal Twist – Jathara Parivritti (straight leg twist on the ground)
Part Two – Standing
Neutral – Chakra 1 – Muladhara – Base Chakra - Red
· Warrior 2 – Virabhadrasana II – Warrior 2
Forward Bend – Chakra 1 – Muladhara – Base Chakra – Red
· Standing Forward Bend – Uttanasana
Back Bend – Chakra 1 – Muladhara – Base Chakra – Red
· Warrior 1 – Virabhadrasana I
Part Three – Standing Balances
Neutral – Chakra 6 – Ajna – Third Eye or Brow Chakra – Indigo
· Tree Pose – Vrksasana
· Standing Big Toe Pose – Utthita Hasta Padangusthasana
Forward Bend – Chakra 6 – Ajna – Third Eye or Brow Chakra – Indigo
· Eagle - Garudasana
· Warrior 3 – Virabhadrasana III
Back Bend – Chakra 6 – Ajna – Third Eye or Brow Chakra – Indigo
· Dancer - Natarajasana
Side Bend – Chakra 6 – Ajna – Third Eye or Brow Chakra – Indigo
· Half Moon – Ardha Chandrasana
Part 4 – Inverted
Neutral – Chakra 7 – Sahasrara – Crown Chakra - Lavender
· Headstand – Salamba Sirshasana
Back Bend– Chakra 3 – Manipura – Solar Plexus - Yellow
· Supported Back Bend – Samarthita Setu Bandha Sarvangasana
· Wheel – Urdhva Dhanurasana
· Dolphin – Makurasana
Neutral – Chakra 7 – Sahasrara – Crown Chakra - Lavender
· Headstand – Salamba Sirshasana
Part 5 – Rest Pose
Forward Bend – Chakra 5 – Visuddha – Throat Chakra – Sky Blue
· Child’s Pose – Supta Vajrasana (or…again…Balasana…my mystery, for now…).
Part 6 – Mudra (Gesture)
· Yoga Mudra – Crown of the Head with Padmasana – Lotus Pose.
Part 7 – Shatkarma (more on this name, later, because…if I were Scottish…the first part of this word is literal).
· Neti
· Dhauti
· Basti
· Nauli Kriya
· Kapalabhati
· Tratak
That’s all for today…
Timer is on…Naomi Iizuka would be so proud of me…she used to tell her playwrighting students to do this exercise daily…just a turning on of a timer and writing for 10-15 minutes, as a discipline, with no judgments…
Anyway…
I suppose that it is time to give context to the reason it is taking me so long to mourn…it’s been 3 years, 3 months, and 11 days…you would think that I would let this go, but…as I began the practice today, I realized with the first position…the “Why?”
I should, maybe, pursue this day 3 blog of my 69 Journey with an acting exercise inspired by Stanislavski…”The Given Circumstances” and as that is my chosen path in life (theater) it makes sense that I give context in this way.
Who: Ronald James Barkl, born March 7, 1942, died September 21, 2011 – age 69…(hence the number…). Great father, superb mechanic, hard worker, the heart of a farmer, a dreamer, a buyer of lottery tickets (to fulfill his dreams), a Chevy lover, an animal lover, a lifelong Yankees fan, and an inspiring human being.
What: 69 Days of doing yoga poses I’ve practiced for the past three years after googling what yoga poses would help with mourning, and drop the 20 lbs. of flesh I gained after his death…that doesn’t seem to want to let go…and my theory is that it is emotional weight.
Where: My little 400 sq. foot cottage in Jeffersonville, NY, 7 minutes from the site of “The Summer of ‘69”, on a yoga mat that is on the rug I used in my production of PIPPIN inspired by Peter Brook’s idea that all a performer needs is an Empty Space…and he took rugs with him around the world…I’ve always liked that image, so…I bought the rug for the performance, knowing that it would also live in my house to remind me that all I really need is an empty space to work, play, and love.
When: Well, for now, after breakfast and after I walk the dogs. It is also after I prepare the ritual, which involves French braiding my hair (which I suck at, by the way, maybe the practice of doing it everyday will improve my technique); cleaning the floor (which I now realize that the ritual of doing this in Japan has a practical basis because I noticed that the dirty floor distracts me…cleaning it before hand takes that distraction away…I’m not just preparing the space for performance, I’m preparing it to get out of the way of my ability to focus); I put on a candle to make it smell nicer…it’s winter here and the mold smell coming from the garage below me usually doesn’t bother me, but during this practice, it does; my boyfriend's “Everyone I Love Is Here” playlist is put on shuffle (more on that soon), and tea made for breaks (if I need one).
Why: The first pose in the revised series of poses that should help with mourning is Virasana – Hero’s Pose…and anyone who knows me, knows that my dad is my hero. His death was my worst fear, and when it happened an expected existential break occurred. I had always feared it, but I never anticipated it so soon…therefore…I was not prepared for the transition after…This 69 Days Journey with these yoga poses is an attempt to find a transition to find the person I was before his death, and bring with me the new found knowledge of the person who I became after his death. The person before made art and tried to please one person: Dad…the person after had no one to fill that void, and, thus, an emptiness filled her entire being…an emptiness that seemed bottomless…this emptiness is a humbling that I needed, and I will carry with me...a moment of grace that I will forever honor, but...I can't continue life in a "moment of grace"; it's just too hard to maintain that level of reflection and drama.
How: Now, here’s the enigma, the sphinx, the phoenix…I don’t know how to make the mourning go away…am I just going to be Sonny Goodman (the famous jazz musician) who will always cry when speaking of my Dad…and is that okay…? It probably is, but it is wearing on my soul, my artwork, my relationships, and, I think, my health…so I need to find something to fill the emptiness, or, at least, a ritual to get out of it (once in a while)…a transition, as it were…
So…the sequence remained the same today, but I added a 6 sun salutations as a warm-up because it seemed difficult to just jump into Virasana straight from waking…I also added rest poses in the hopes that I could finish each 69 Kapalabhati breaths with each pose. These included Apanasana (Wind-relieving pose), Supta Vajrasana (Child’s) and Tadasana (Mountain – and, as a side note, I liked having this in the series because I’m a child of the mountains and have always loved the metaphor of the mountain, so…it’s nice to rest in it…).
Part 1 – Standing or lying
Neutral – Chakra 2 – Svadhisthana (Navel Chakra or Hara) – Orange
· Hero’s Pose – Virasana
· Butterfly – Baddha Konasana
Forward Bend – Chakra 5 – Visuddha (Throat Chakra) – Sky Blue
· Child’s Pose – Supta Vajrasana (or Balasana…more on this another time…)
Back Bend– Chakra 3 – Manipura – Solar plexus - yellow
· Flying Cow – Januhastasana/Bidalasana/Gavasana
· Camel – Ustrasana
· Sphinx – Salamba Bhujangasana
· Cobra – Bhujangasana
· Upward Facing Dog – Urdhva Mukha Svanasana
· Bow – Dhanurasana
· Supported Fish – Samarthita Matsyasana
Twist – Chakra 4 – Anahata – Heart Chakra - Green
· Spinal Twist – Jathara Parivritti (straight leg twist on the ground)
Part Two – Standing
Neutral – Chakra 1 – Muladhara – Base Chakra - Red
· Warrior 2 – Virabhadrasana II – Warrior 2
Forward Bend – Chakra 1 – Muladhara – Base Chakra – Red
· Standing Forward Bend – Uttanasana
Back Bend – Chakra 1 – Muladhara – Base Chakra – Red
· Warrior 1 – Virabhadrasana I
Part Three – Standing Balances
Neutral – Chakra 6 – Ajna – Third Eye or Brow Chakra – Indigo
· Tree Pose – Vrksasana
· Standing Big Toe Pose – Utthita Hasta Padangusthasana
Forward Bend – Chakra 6 – Ajna – Third Eye or Brow Chakra – Indigo
· Eagle - Garudasana
· Warrior 3 – Virabhadrasana III
Back Bend – Chakra 6 – Ajna – Third Eye or Brow Chakra – Indigo
· Dancer - Natarajasana
Side Bend – Chakra 6 – Ajna – Third Eye or Brow Chakra – Indigo
· Half Moon – Ardha Chandrasana
Part 4 – Inverted
Neutral – Chakra 7 – Sahasrara – Crown Chakra - Lavender
· Headstand – Salamba Sirshasana
Back Bend– Chakra 3 – Manipura – Solar Plexus - Yellow
· Supported Back Bend – Samarthita Setu Bandha Sarvangasana
· Wheel – Urdhva Dhanurasana
· Dolphin – Makurasana
Neutral – Chakra 7 – Sahasrara – Crown Chakra - Lavender
· Headstand – Salamba Sirshasana
Part 5 – Rest Pose
Forward Bend – Chakra 5 – Visuddha – Throat Chakra – Sky Blue
· Child’s Pose – Supta Vajrasana (or…again…Balasana…my mystery, for now…).
Part 6 – Mudra (Gesture)
· Yoga Mudra – Crown of the Head with Padmasana – Lotus Pose.
Part 7 – Shatkarma (more on this name, later, because…if I were Scottish…the first part of this word is literal).
· Neti
· Dhauti
· Basti
· Nauli Kriya
· Kapalabhati
· Tratak
That’s all for today…
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