Day 22
Timer on…
Well, I did a little adjustment today. I made myself do both sides of the poses before I allowed myself a rest pose. I did pretty good, but once I hit the standing balances section, I faltered a little bit. I also had my friend Bobbie-Jo in my head today during the series and for some reason when I hit the standing balance poses, I couldn’t stop thinking about her. After I finish detail the Manipura Chakra poses, I’m going to detail the Ajna Chakra poses (which are the standing balance poses) and I have some thoughts as to why those are in the series, in regards to mourning, and today I do not have balance for Bobbie-Jo’s death because I saw a beautiful photo of one of her son’s giving a transition to honor her. It was him on a horse (a love the two of them shared; Jeffrey is a rodeo star, as was Bobbie-Jo) letting go of a pink balloon…Bobbie-Jo died of a variety of cancers, and one of the heartbreaking things she parted with were her breasts, and that pink color, of course, is the symbolic color of breast cancer awareness… Jeffrey has organized several cancer awareness fundraisers for his mother at his young age, and that photo broke me today. I just keep thinking that it’s good that Bobbie-Jo is free from pain, but she is not free from the pain of the void she is leaving in her children…she loved them so much, and, I think, she held on longer than all the doctors said because she never wanted her children to have that void…and that is why I couldn’t get her out of my brain today…I know her children are starting this awful journey that I’m trying to transition out of, and they are so young…it is truly unfair…
63 is the age of my father’s first heart attack that we became aware of…apparently he had had one before, but no one knows when that happened, but the one at 63 ended him up in the hospital, eventually. It is ridiculous, to me, that the doctors, initially, sent him home…because it seemed as though he was too healthy looking to have had a heart attack, and, yet that night, my dad told me, he was next to his really hot fire, and he couldn’t get warm…he was so cold…this image of my father suffering the death of an artery next to his fire always does me in…and today as I was struggling through the Ajna Chakra poses; I fell out twice right at 63…I was thinking of Bobbie-Jo, not my Dad…the reason for this series, and he showed up, symbolically, to remind me to keep focusing and doing my work. I also believe that Bobbie-Jo would want that, as well. She was an amazing Warrior, and when I fell out of Warrior 3 at 63 Kapalabhati breaths, I forced myself to get back up and finish…normally I just write down the fact that I fell out, but today…in honor of her and my Dad…I pushed on…
So…I finished all of the Manipura Chakra poses that are in Part 1 – Standing or lying…but there are more in Part 4 – Inverted. I will define the first one Supported Back Bend/Samarthita Setu Bandha Sarvangasana:
“Setu = dam, dike, or bridge. Bandha = lock. Sarvangasana = Shoulder-Stand. Smarthita = Supported.”
That’s all for today…
Timer on…
Well, I did a little adjustment today. I made myself do both sides of the poses before I allowed myself a rest pose. I did pretty good, but once I hit the standing balances section, I faltered a little bit. I also had my friend Bobbie-Jo in my head today during the series and for some reason when I hit the standing balance poses, I couldn’t stop thinking about her. After I finish detail the Manipura Chakra poses, I’m going to detail the Ajna Chakra poses (which are the standing balance poses) and I have some thoughts as to why those are in the series, in regards to mourning, and today I do not have balance for Bobbie-Jo’s death because I saw a beautiful photo of one of her son’s giving a transition to honor her. It was him on a horse (a love the two of them shared; Jeffrey is a rodeo star, as was Bobbie-Jo) letting go of a pink balloon…Bobbie-Jo died of a variety of cancers, and one of the heartbreaking things she parted with were her breasts, and that pink color, of course, is the symbolic color of breast cancer awareness… Jeffrey has organized several cancer awareness fundraisers for his mother at his young age, and that photo broke me today. I just keep thinking that it’s good that Bobbie-Jo is free from pain, but she is not free from the pain of the void she is leaving in her children…she loved them so much, and, I think, she held on longer than all the doctors said because she never wanted her children to have that void…and that is why I couldn’t get her out of my brain today…I know her children are starting this awful journey that I’m trying to transition out of, and they are so young…it is truly unfair…
63 is the age of my father’s first heart attack that we became aware of…apparently he had had one before, but no one knows when that happened, but the one at 63 ended him up in the hospital, eventually. It is ridiculous, to me, that the doctors, initially, sent him home…because it seemed as though he was too healthy looking to have had a heart attack, and, yet that night, my dad told me, he was next to his really hot fire, and he couldn’t get warm…he was so cold…this image of my father suffering the death of an artery next to his fire always does me in…and today as I was struggling through the Ajna Chakra poses; I fell out twice right at 63…I was thinking of Bobbie-Jo, not my Dad…the reason for this series, and he showed up, symbolically, to remind me to keep focusing and doing my work. I also believe that Bobbie-Jo would want that, as well. She was an amazing Warrior, and when I fell out of Warrior 3 at 63 Kapalabhati breaths, I forced myself to get back up and finish…normally I just write down the fact that I fell out, but today…in honor of her and my Dad…I pushed on…
So…I finished all of the Manipura Chakra poses that are in Part 1 – Standing or lying…but there are more in Part 4 – Inverted. I will define the first one Supported Back Bend/Samarthita Setu Bandha Sarvangasana:
“Setu = dam, dike, or bridge. Bandha = lock. Sarvangasana = Shoulder-Stand. Smarthita = Supported.”
That’s all for today…
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